The days have been fairly good. Walking the Dug in the sunshine, trying to balance work and life, seeing lots of shows at the Brighton Fringe (Ive seen shows that have reignited my love of theatre!)
Yesterday was a weird one. Several weeks back I finally took some advice my GP gave me and made self referral to get some local therapy. Its been a while since I first got in contact and things have changed, I am more happy and a bit more in control in how Im thinking and my negative thoughts. However, I decided it was still worth getting some help and extra support so that I am more prepared for the next time I dont feel so well. Its maybe even a better time to do it as Im mentally stronger and more likely to take advice without being cynical about it.
The hardest thing however was going through what my issues have been. My self esteem and self worth has always been something I find difficult to get my head around (I worry about being seen as too confident or deluded) and my physical symptoms (of course fatigue being one of them). It brought up a lot of stuff particularly how I can ended up where I am, asking for more help, even doing this recovery project. Stuff has been hard and my confidence has been knocked. My good mental health always seems a bit fragile.
But it kind of proves that Im doing the right thing even though Ive been mostly happy recently and I had another good day.
Taking the right steps to looking after myself and focusing on the present and a positive future.