Okay doing better not as knackered and my head is clearing :)
Little story for you: One of the best things I saw at @edfringe in 2016 was Chris Gethard’s Career Suicide a stand-up about anxiety, depression and his suicide attempts. Trust me its really funny and Gethard is a very endearing comedian, with an expansive career in comedy, acting and podcasting. (You should definitely check out his podcast Beautiful/Anonymous) I think its possible to watch the show online and I urge you to if you can find it.
Im telling you this cos there’s a wee bit he does about when he calls his mum and can hear the worry on the other end that’s waiting to hear what bad thing has happened to him.
That bit kicked me right in the heart. Ive heard the unspoken worry, the readiness to help and the fear of why Ive called.
But I called my mum today, chatted to her for an hour and realised that it was definitely not the first time recently she answered with happiness not worry and the expectation of good things. I know she will always be there when I do need her and when things are bad but Im glad thats not her first thought when my name flashes up on her phone :)