Joni-Rae Carrack
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365 Days of Recovery

Day 74/5/6

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Nothing huge to report with my own mental health, apart from a few worries but otherwise Ive been finding happiness where I can.

Big news is Ive been accepted on a Mental Health First Aiders Instructors course. After doing the first aid course in September, I had always wanted to move onto the instructors course at some point. But I was really scared. I was scared of failing. I was really scared I would do the course and nothing would come from it or I would not find the work or I would be too late turn around and EVERYONE would be an instructor or first aid trained and no one would need me. My low esteem wasn’t helping but if you’ve followed this you’ve maybe read how I am recovering my self worth slowly but surely. 
My husband was also extremely supportive and thought of an idea that pushed me in the right direction for applying. 
I know my creative work has been helpful to people with mental health problems, but I also want to do something more practical that will make a difference.
And maybe I can leave the mental health stuff out of my work for a bit and find something else to explore. Not that I want to leave it forever, but I dont want to stagnate.

But I mean geez I just want to make a change you know? If I can help people who are struggling it makes my struggles more worth it. That it wasnt in vain that there was more of a reason for it. Cos anxiety and panic attacks can feel so meaningless and struggles seem less when theres a purpose to them.

So yeah, if you know anyone who might be looking for an instructor let me know. Going for adult mental health but hopefully will get to get trained in Youth as well. 
Photo is of a Sass & Bell pendent I got given ages ago during some hard times which Ive repurposed into a display for my growing pin collection.

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