Day 6

IMG_8165.JPG

 

^^^^^^^^^^^

Dug here representing how Im feeling today. (No silly selfie here)

😑Today was decided by 12am waking up with huge dose of nausea and pain. Nothing like waking up in a cloud of fear and your brain screaming “you’re about to throw up!” One if the most unpleasant feelings Ive had

Ugh - another mixture of jetlag and anxiety and just crap?

The worry is huge now. I had similar big symptoms two years ago which led to a big relapse of my mental health that took those two years to recover from. I felt my like my life was over and Im scared that maybe it is coming again.

This may be premature or overthought or catastrophising. But thats where my brain is heading.

It may well just be jetlag. But it reminds me of some very tough and isolating times.!But Im scared. Like is this it again?

Have had to let friends down because I cant really face today and I resent so much that Ive been pulled back by my symptoms again. Its happened hundreds of time before.

Im told Im not my illness but I wonder how much people really know me when it stops me seeing my friends and really being myself?

 

Im not trying to fish for sympathy here. Really Im not. I never expected starting this how quickly things would dip. But here it is. This is anxiety.

Lets hope for tomorrow and some sleep. Going to hide for now and rest.